The Dairy of Doctor Bong

Bong is on leave.

posted by the_dr3@m3r @ 4:05 AM 0 comments

Spread the word!

Next week is National Bong Appreciation Week (NBA), so please get your balls ready to be beaten.

posted by the_dr3@m3r @ 6:45 PM 0 comments

Educational Decree #63

From now on, you shall use two phrases in conjuction with my name to promote resonance and general reverberations in educational, social, sexual and circular circles.

The phrases shall be:

#1 - Bong is Pleased
#2 - Bong is Not pleased

posted by the_dr3@m3r @ 4:40 AM 0 comments

Penis

I think it inappropriate not to mention the recent suicide of a Sec 3 student in my school, who apparently had quite enough of his parents and life in my school. I think this will lower the PSLE cut-off score slightly.
If I wasn't CEO of such a big corporation, I would have suicided at a young age as well. My parents demanded that I joined the Flower Society. I was adamant against this - I was hellbent on entering the Ballet Corps. Fortunately we resolved this when they died.

As CEO of ACS(I), I thank you all for making me immensely wealthy.
Yesterday, I built a guest house using bundles of cash as bricks.

In future, I plan to charge 10c for usage of the toilets. The money will add up quickly but the small change will be slightly unwieldy.

posted by the_dr3@m3r @ 4:41 AM 1 comments

Flush De Royale

A K Q J 10

posted by the_dr3@m3r @ 6:04 AM 0 comments

WASSUP

I SAID, WASSUP YAO?



Y-YEA!

Bong is pleased.

I will be declaring InterSpaceGalaxia-cum (note the cum)- national-intraboundarial Bong Week soon.

Bong week will have a plethora of activites for you to take part in, for the sole purpose of gratifying and praising my name, which I hanve't planned yet. I plan it to be next week though, which means this week will be spent building up to the week!
Activity 1: Slap hands and say Happy Bong Week to your neighbour! Then rub your

(barn-taht)

You'll have to ask a Malay student what that means, it's a malay word.

posted by the_dr3@m3r @ 6:45 AM 0 comments

F5

A Very Appi' Chinese New Year to all you Sikhs and Hindus! I myself celebrate Hindunese New Year without being directly Bongish, although my father was Croatian and my maternal grandmother was Serb-Mongolian. However, in terms of religion, Croats make me croak. I despise all you zarking Zarquon-believers who respect those from Bishan.
Buona Vista area > Bishan (all parts.) > Bukit Timah > East Coast

Got that?

posted by the_dr3@m3r @ 3:38 AM 0 comments

a parody

to the tune of Gatsby's Moving Rubber


YOUUUUUUUUUUU CAN GIVE ME MONNNEY..
MONNNNNNNEY..
MONNNNNNNE

to the tune of Umbrella

(dedicated to my #1) Note: Explicit lyrics ahead
Detour not available. Heh heh. Then again whoever visits this is probably not too morally sufficient, so to speak!

I'VE GOT OUR MARRIAGE CART..
AND WE'RE SO NIGHT SMART..
MAYBE WITH ADRENALIN..
BUT YOU'LL STILL LICK MY CAR
BABY CAUSE NIPPLE MARKS
REPRESENT OUR LITTLE SPARKS
and i know what i will wear
for you i'll strip it bare

BECAUSE

WHEN WE LIE WE LIE TOGETHER
TOLD YOU I'M SO VERY CLEVER
BUT I SWORE I'LL NEVER SPEND
HAD A STICK
I'MMA STICK IT OUT TO THE END
NOW WE'RE SHAGGING MORE THAN EVER
KNOW THAT I STILL HAVE YOUR MOTHER
YOU CAN LICK all my mozzarella
ella
ella
eh
eh
eh
eh

DOESNT make a whole cartload of sense, does it?

posted by the_dr3@m3r @ 5:00 AM 0 comments

Super Super Awesome Day

While pondering over my necklaces and PRETTY IN TOKYO porn shoots, I decided that some changes are in order:

A correction must be made: Raffles should have been known as Faffles
I thank a certain subordinate for this..


Our school's heating costs are too high. They are burning holes in my wallet.
On a related note, my teachers spend too much time at funerals. From now on, all teachers who chaperone cremations done in our school's furnace will NOT be caned.

posted by the_dr3@m3r @ 6:18 AM 0 comments

the IB symposium

IM TOO EMO TO TALK!
but since this is a private dairy, I'll probably laugh when i read this again.
And since no one really knows about this page, it's all A-OK!

The IB symposium on Friday was quite a farce.

First, the Caucasian Mr. Thomasson from Denmark came over in his Rolls-Royce. The fat Indian security guard stopped him at the gate saying "U CANT COME IN LAH ANGMOH, COME IN AT 240 WHEN SCHOOL ENDS"

Then when his limo got to the circus, the clown came over.

Of course me and my four femme fatales came over and chased away the clown ("WRONG CIRCUS LA LAN JIAO") and said Hi come upstairs into my office for some coffee.

Horror of horrors..

I forgot to keep the handcuffs and leather straps from my private meeting with Mrs. Three last night. They dangled innocently enough from the coat hangers, mocking us.

This was followed by my office window being smacked into two by a thunderous right-foot karate-kick-super-rare-awesome-volley from a certain individual, whose power belies his size. Although his name is protected so I can't say it, and anyway the ball knocked my guest into his cup of coffee, making him Indian without cosmetic surgery.

A very hot
I mean, very angry Indian..

After I had cleaned him up (enjoying every minute!) I said Hey why don't we discuss this beside the koi pond.

It seemed that one of my more mischievous students had rigged the bench beside the pond so that the supports were weaker than Derby County's defence on a bad day. My guest ended up wet (MY UNDERWEAR IS SOAKED YOU SEAHORSING OCTOPI) and very angry indeed.

The classrooms were our next stop, and it was not a happy day when I encountered an entire class in the middle of a mass orgy. Bottles of wine and six-packs of half-drunk beer lay all over the place drenched in all manner of sticky substances, and everyone was naked anyway.

My little glowstick began to rise.
Ashamed, I turned away only to be smothered in a pair of talking cleavage.
Does this make any sense to you, dear reader?
It made little sense to me that my day was going so badly.

After he had left, Fanny asked me
"So what are you going to do about it?"
I smiled, and replied,
"Nothing. I told him we're the Raffles Institution."

posted by the_dr3@m3r @ 11:05 PM 0 comments