The Dairy of Doctor Bong

The Renovation, Part 1

Today is the day before all exams terminate.

And I'm one day early from my tour of Outer Tanzania, but then again, it was a bit too hot there. And I thought it was winter in Tanzania.

The legality of Doctor Bong has been questioned repeatedly. To address your concerns, the first step is to remove all names mentioned BEFORE.

Henceforth, Doctor Bong exists only in a PERPENDICULAR universe and exists because of a disposition in the nylon fabric of the space-time "funnel" that most of us go through. It is because of this that SOME real events MAY be slightly distorted in my Diary.


My name will remain as Dr. Bong Bullard Samy.
My Deputy Principals have new c0d3-names. And they have numeric codes, too! You need a few literary backgrounds to understand them, namely Sun Wukong, Harry Potter and a bit of Water Margin. They are arranged in order of importance.

------------------------------------
053: The Iron Fan
148.5: Ms Chang's Mum
666: The Ink Of The BlackBoard (or The Product Of The Barbecue)
832: Sallow-Faced Brute
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And my discipline master - (the spanking remains bold, and the whipping and handcuffs remain freshly etched on my flesh)

I mean the STUDENTS' discipline master remains as Bonger.


Let me give you a light snack before I whet your appetite tomorrow. This is loosely based off a true story that actually DID happen in this universe.

I bought a canned drink of Coca-Cola off the vending machine. Stupid $1. What I did was to make the $1 magnetic, and then use a EXTREMELY strong magnet to draw out all the change.

Moving on, I found that I was in a bit of a hurry to get back for dinner.
But then, I needed to catch a bus home. But the Super Bus Salutation Company doesn't allow drinks. What to do then?

Swiftly, I drank up half the can, then I chanced across this small patch of elevated grass. It was elevated such that I could look onto it, but I could not lift my leg onto this platform.

Ants live in grass habitats.
I poured a small amount of the coke onto this small concrete "walkway" just beside the grass.
Ants are attracted to sweet things.

From all corners and crannies did the ants come! I had no idea so many existed. And as if ants weren't enough there were all sorts of jungle objects like caterpillars and mosquitoes that also heeded to pay this museum of sorts a visit.

I felt a certain viciousity. That does not mean I am thick.

Previously after having a kickabout with my staff, I had left a half-eaten mooncake in my snackbox at the goalposts. 20 minutes later when I wished to finish it up, I was sorely disgusted as the lunchbox was teeming with ants. About 40++ had decided to infest my lunchbox. Of course I drowned the lot in some dilute H2S04, but the ants had cost me half a mooncake, and I would never forget that debt.

As one ant approached the puddle of carbonated drink, I scraped the bottom of the can against the concrete platform, moving it all the way towards the ant and with a little stopping distance to boot. The ant was crushed beneath the can and half of it remained on the bottom while half was stuck on the concrete platform.

In that moment, one life ceased to exist.

Truly, a tragedy which Shakespeare would have been proud of. He would have been even prouder that I massacred 34 ants, 2 mosquitoes and 3 beetles before my bus arrived.

Let this be a warning to you:

If you see another person dead a distance away, don't walk to him.

posted by the_dr3@m3r @ 4:35 AM